I get a big kick out of reading randomsome1's horror work stories and figured I'd share one of the more memorable ones that had happened to me over the week.

I'm in the bridal department of the store when I hear glass crash and a little boy go "oh crap!". I immediately rush over, fearful that I'll find a bloody kid and a sue-happy mother standing over him. I see a kid who isn't covered in blood (thankfully) but he's on his bare knees and hands in broken glass.

"Sorry! It just rolled off! I swear!" Yeah, sure kid. I notice a woman in the aisle, but she's not even looking at the boy as her attention is heavily on some sortive bridal thing. I assume that she isn't his mother then. So I tell the kid, "Sweetie, don't kneel on the ground, there's glass. No, no. It's fine, I can clean it up, don't worry." I make sure he's fine and as I go to pick up the bigger pieces, to my shock and amazement, he goes over to the woman and says "So whatcha lookin' at, Mom?".

My mouth just about dropped. Glass broke, kid's kneeling in it, and she doesn't even turn around? Not even a reprimand?! If I was that mother, I'd be all "Hun, you okay? Good. DON'T TOUCH THE GLASS."

So I go into the back stock room and relay this horror story to my co-worker. He simply shook his head and replied, "I worked at a jail for about twenty years. Thought I saw it all. Two years in retail, I've seen shit even worse than what I've seen in there [jail]." How disgusting is that?

In other news, I have a bit of a predicament. We've already exchanged first chapters 'n at. Thankfully, it really made me pay attention to what I'm neglecting (adults, for one). But it brought up a huge issue;

My story revolves around a band in Alabama. They think they're good, their school thinks they're good, but they aren't. Their lyrics are mediocre and the music itself isn't that stellar. Only they don't realize it (at least until a jerk shows up in a future chapter to set them in their place). And that's one of the story's main focus, is to better the band.

Problem is... how do I convey this? If the POVs think their music is great and their surrounding peers think it's great... Well, I should say, how exactly can I approach this issue with the reader? They're gonna read the mediocre lyrics and probably think 'wow, this is crap' and possibly loose interest in the story. Halp?

Ah, and by the way, I'm over at InsaneJournal too. I suggest that you who haven't made a back-up account at Ij do so. Gj might not be around in the future...

GJ seems to be experiencing some problems such as... apathy? Don't know much what's going on, but the general gist of it is that there's apparently a main guy who says that problems can't be fixed though I'm pretty sure that there are users on this site who are smart enough to help along.

IN OTHER NEWS.

OH GAWD I LOVE MY HAIR. Lately, I've been gaining a bit of weight. To the point where I just don't like looking at myself in the mirror (no, it's not like over NINE THOUSAND pounds or anything). So when me and my sister went out to do an errand before I was cast into Laundry Hell, I decided on the spur of the moment to get a hair cut.

And man am I fuckin' glad I did. It used to kinda just sit there on my head and be all 'man, I look like shit'. But now! NOW! It's fluffy and frames my face in cool whispy strands and my bangs are a line but a few strands of hair fall from the line and it looks AWESOME. I love it, love it, love iiiiit. So my self esteem has takin' a turn for the good.

And the Wii helps too. *huggles Wii* And Achmed the Dead Terrorist.

Firstly, sorry that I haven't been online, job = killer at the moment. @_@ So this small break in between laundry shifts enables me to rant on several things.

Details under cut include I Am Legend, Last One Standing, and Avatar: The Last Airbender episode 3.12!

( Just so your friends page won't be smothered by Winged's journal... )

/rant

( Cutted for purposes of what in the hellness )

So apparently I'm a troll over at the smackjeeves forum. Sorry for being intelligent and for "insulting" your prized mod by... doing what? I have no clue! Just somehow, magically, I did an unforgivable act and became a troll. This mod, by the way, so happens to be biased and incredibly bitchy. I don't know about YOU guys, but having a mod that's snarky to the point of condenscending, no matter how well she does her job, is slightly irritating. No matter what I do or say, I'm somehow the bad guy. THANKS A WHOLE FUCKING BUNCH. Think I'll keep my crappy comic at DD, kbai.

In other news, I'm getting really peeved that my SAME ICONS are being deleted from Gj. I made them! Is it 'cause it's Bleach or something?! *headdesk* Gj pleeeeeeeeeeease don't do this to me. I'm not going to Ij, I don't want to move again. I likes it here. Satoshi's with me, my friends moveded, and I like it here. It's pretty! ;-;

This is a review for Assassin's Creed... and it's bloody hilarious.

First, I stay up all night, despite working at 8:30 am, watching all 20+ episodes, two movies, and the little skits of Ben 10 that Cartoon Network provides. I'm totally head-over-heels in love with this show and with Ben, who's a major dofus. *blush*

I mean, honestly. There's effort put into this show, which a lot of kids' shows lack these days. The voice acting is terrific, the dialogue slightly corny but it really works with how the show goes. Completley imaginative creations and overall very dramatic. I'm freakin' in love.

Second, my brother and I go out to eat at a Chinese buffet place thingy. I happen to overhear 'Yeah, and Neji was facing off a spider man!' from an overenthusiastic tyke. Then I listen as he and his friends go into an excited rant, wondering what in the world will happen to Shikamaru.

I actually contemplated on cutting into their conversation with "HE GETS HIS ASS WHOOPED THEN GETS SAVED BY TEMARI, HIS PIMP" and then going into detail about what exactly happens when Naruto and Sasuke face off.

DX

I'm a total dweeb.

allherglory, I remember a time that you sent me a link to all of the Scrub eps... Where'd it go? DX *scoured through your journal and can't find it*

In other news... uhm... nothing's new. Everything's same old, same old. So here's some funneh things to watch!

Dr. Cox with the girly names for JD.

By the way... Dr. Cox isn't particuarily a hot looking individual... but him and JD make such a cute couple.

I just like these and wish to post them so as I can look back and laugh hilariously at the stupidity of some Harry Potter fans in regarding the whole new can of wank that's been opened up:

Some idjit trying to publish his HP encyclopedia summed up in so many macros:

SVA: Publish?
JKR: No publish.
SVA: OPPRESSHUN!
RDR: Money!
JKR: Manuscript, plz?
RDR: Prntscrn, H0R
WB: C&D!
SVA: OPPRESSHUN!
JKR: I can haz lawsuit nao?
RDR: H8TR! Nclr Hlcst!1!
WB: We can haz lawsuit.
SVA: OPPRESSED FOR THE FANS!
RDR: I can haz deeper hole nao?
Fandom: Oh my god, what is this crack?

Snacky's summurizashun (fuck, i forget how to spell that non-macroy-like! ... FUCK I CAN'T SCHPELL) of the fandom:

Fan A: I know nothing about law or copyright or publishing or anything, but Steve should be allowed to publish! Why should that greedy bitchwhore JKR, who sunk my ship and killed my favorite character, be the only one allowed to make money off her work?
Fan B: Uh, because it *is* her work. She's the one who has the copyright.
Fan A: Well, I know nothing about it, but Steve worked hard on the Lexicon!
Fan B: He didn't write the books, though, which is all the Lexicon is, info from the books.
Fan A: I know nothing about it, but there's essays!
Fan B: Which he didn't write either and can't legally profit from.
Fan A: I know nothing about it, but she said she liked the Lexicon before!
Fan B: As a free website, not as a for-profit book.
Fan A: I know nothing about it, but I like Steve and he should get money! Here, I will mail him some right now!
Fan B: There is not enough *facepalm* in the world...

Alright. Some of you are probably WTF is going on. ( For those that care, link below. )

In other news, OH GOD AZULA YOU ARE SO HAWT RIGHT NOW AND I FUCKIN' LOVE, LOVE, LOVE THE CREATORS OF AVATAR. Everything was awesome and full of win and made me tear up and it's like HOW MUCH MORE CAN THE GOOD GUYS TAKE?!?! They keep getting hit with blow after blow after blow of shitty luck but YOU. ZUKO. Finally you freakin' redeemed yourself. IT'S ABOUT FUCKING TIME U JERKFACE.

Okay, that's enough capslock for one night...

Why am I posting this? WHY. It's horrible. I essentially wrote what popped into my head for 15 minutes straight... I didn't correct any of my horrible spelling or grammar errors...

My fingers hurt.

( One thousand three hundred and fourty-three words of INSANITY. )



ALRIGHTY SO. In other news, Whiskers is finally coming out of my room to chill with me when the dogs (Mr. Jones) aren't around and Tubby Pumpkin is actually *gasp* sleeping with me. LIFE is great right now!

I'm just about ready to fall asleep... Got hit with a serious bout of inspiration for my story, Atticus. Wrote 13 pages, 4000+ words, from a 387 word drabble... Fuck you, Corrs... *yawn*

I totaled my story up. It's at the 32000+ word mark with 69 pages. *sighs in content* I feel slightly proud about this. The story's far, far from over, so I think the 50k mark won't be hard to reach. *sleepy squee* But then again... it has only 9 reviews and 92 hits. Seems that band fics aren't too popular... Which is sad. Atticus is one of the few stories that I'm really confident in.

I liek the characters and just 'cause I'm mostly rambling out of my super sleepy head, I'ma gonna do an introduction:

Atticus: The Spell checker/Grammar checker Killer. His accent is incredibly fun to write, and the way he talks is just... hilarious. He's proud, sure minded, emotional, a good buddy, gets along well, quick to temper, opinionated, wrong but thinks he's right, believes in meddling in anything that isn't his business, and believes in his dreams with all of his heart. He's a stocky almost 16-year-old (that's sophomore age in high school, right?) with short brown hair, thick side burns, and cobalt blue eyes. He has no fashion sense, wears whatever the hell he feels comfortable in. He has a dark blue Maverick guitar with a 'DO NOT CROSS' police tape as the guitar strap. He loves anything rock, whether it's emo rock or new rock or old rock or rock rock or metal rock or what have you. Here's a sample of his dialogue:
"Howdy thar! Mah name's Atticus Montgomery. Usually thar's some sortive middle name or whatnot, but I don't seem t'have one. 'Least I don't s'pose so. I'll hafta ask my mom or sumthin' like that, but 'til then! I'll jes be Atticus Montgomery. So ya'll cin be satisfactoried on tha-"
It's satisfied, not satisfactoried...
"Whatever, don't go puttin' no words in my mouth else I'll hafta git kinda mean on ya'll. Ha ha! Jes kiddin', pullin' yer leg. Have a good one."

Melbourne: Crap I'm Gay and I'm in Mai Lynn's Story *tear*. He's my favorite of the group and I try not to play favortism with him. He's the middle man when it comes to the dialogue, but is normally soft spoken. He's kind of the one who got the most problems of the group, and yet has the most sense. Oh, wait. No he doesn't. He just argues a lot with Atticus, which is good. It brings out the anger in him. Otherwise, he'd be nothing more but a big emo pile of emoness. He doesn't really have much of a self-esteem and actually has a mental/physical problem with his body to the point that he can't perform, if you know what I mean. He's a cutter, but not suicidal. Yet? Probably never, don't know. We'll see how the story goes. Anyway, he has whitish blond hair 'cause I can't stand bright OMG MY EYEZ blond hair and light blue eyes with pale skin. He has slight albino or whatnot... Kinda not really SHUT UP MY STORY GO AWAY. Sample:
"...uhm... I-I got a lot of cats... Though my favorite has to be Dandy. He's this old tabby. I don't really know how old he is, but, uhm, I've had him since I was little... I think..."

Sadie: Get The Testosterone Away From Me. The no-nonsense, emotionally stable drummer. She usually has some sortive quick comment to anything that Atticus says, and usually physically punishes him for his stupid shit. She's defintely the reasonable one in the group, but she does get her problems, especially with another character named Randy and the fourth band mate, Corrs. She has a pretty good self esteem, but has mother issues since her mother is constantly away on business and never comes home. She doesn't really respect her dad all that much either, to the point where she's actually kinda contempuous to him. Thankfully though, she has enough sense to not really emo much about it, other than just get kinda teenaged angry about it. She has long auburn hair that's usually in a high pony tail with cold blue eyes. Being from the North, I think I made her from Massachusetts, I forget, she's the only character (so far) that does not have a funny dialect or accent. Huzzah for Sadie's sample!
"It's not like I hate romance. It's more that romance doesn't really care for me too much. Before Randy, guys would back away from me like I had the plague or for some reason that's equally asinine. Still, if he so much as tries to put some dumb ring on my finger or buys me a golden necklace, he's going to find himself a new, sparkly black eye."

Corrs: I Is Angry And Has Impossible To Write Accent. Being from Jamaica, Corrs has a difficult accent to write. Most of the time, I don't think it comes off... Regardless, he's about as fun to write as Atticus. Like Atticus, he's self-confident, cocky, quick to anger, and opinionated. But he's also abrasive, curt, awkward with friendships, and can hold grudges for a pretty long time. Also, he's in a bit of a situation that I hope I'm writing well... See, back in Jamaica he was apart of a hate gang and would go around committing hate crimes. Then bam, he's finding himself in Jacksonville Alabama where the hate crimes are happening on him. He's really angry/paranoid about everything now, 'cause it's like 'holy fucking shit, karma's really droppin' the a-bomb on me now!'. And yet I have to try to get him to like Atticus and join the band and have fun stuff... Luckily, he's working pretty good with the good side of the student body in JHS. His hair's shoulder length and in dreadlocky coilness that he usually pulls back into a loose pony tail. His skin's a nice light brown color and he has warm grey eyes (warm color, not 'come wit me to paradise' grey). His quick sample:
"So the idiot's ramblin' 'bout God knows what, when he suddenly stops. I don't know why, but he just quits. Like that. Then just turns and starts to walk away from me. I'm left on the curb, ticket in hand, watchin' him walk away and wonderin' 'am I followin' or am I stayin', what's goin' on?'. So I just threw that fuckin' ticket to the storm drain and went on my way."

And there you have it. The four main characters/POVs of my novel Atticus. Once I get into their mentalities, I can't stop. XD SO G'NIGHT.

randomsome1 tagged whoever didn't do the "Ten Things That Make You Happy" meme. So huzzah!!

1) My pets, Whiskers, Mr. Jones, Tubby Pumpkin, Squall, and still Shadow no matter how long he'll be gone.
2) Writing from my own creativity.
3) Drawing as well.
4) Damn good music.
5) Accomplishing at least half of what I've set out to do in a day. XD
6) Sleeping in when it's storming outside.
7) Crafting HARDCORE YO.
8) Making people laugh/smile/be jolly.
9) Hanging out with friends and having a raging good time.
10) Driving.

None of those are in any particular order, it just came into my head as I wrote. Ha ha! So I also tag whoever hasn't done this, WHICH IS YOU. *points dramatically*

DX I don't like being on the computer at 10 am...

Check x if you have....

[ ] Picked up something, decided you didn't want it, and dropped it off in some random place in the store.
[ ] Picked up something, decided you didn't want it.....and just put the item in a random place in front of you.
[ ] Not bother to look at any notices on the front doors, or around the store, and tried to return/exchange something that can't be.
[ ] Throw a hissy fit about not being able to do so to the cashier/ store manager.
[ ] Complain about prices.
[ ] Complain how an item is cheaper somewhere else.
[ ] Shoplift.
[ ] Take somethign out of a package when you're not supposed to, and don't even bother to put it back properly.
[ ] Ask for a bag when you really don't need one.
[ ] leave your garbage laying around on shelves, what have you.
[ ] Ask a stupid question, and bitch about the stupid answer you've just recived.
[ ] Assume that the people working in the store are complete fucktards, and you treat them as such.

Scoring:
Scoring actually doesn't matter for this. Because even doing ONE of these things, especially in a smaller store ALWAYS makes you look like a fucktarded dumbass bastard. To the people working there, and to all the other customers who actually have a brain.
And if you've ever complained about not finding something, it's probably because some DUMBASS picked the item up and dropped it somewhere random.
And it isn't the STORE that determines sales, prices etc. It's the fucking COMPANY. You wanna bitch about prices and the lot? Then get off your ass, AND CONTACT THE COMPANY. NOT THE STORE.
Or, JUST KEEP YOUR DAMN MOUTH SHUT.

I deleted that parts that really didn't pertain to retail (at least in my opinion), but overall...

This is so freakin' true.

I bought W Juliet vol. 9 and Bleach vol. 1. I figure to read the manga, since, while I love the music from teh anime and the dub voices, I can always read much faster than I can watch. What takes me five minutes to read takes an entire half hour episode to explain.

Which is one reason why I don't really care for the Naruto anime too much. DX

Other than that, life's calm and sweet. Me and Dad are starting to build the haunted house in our garage, and I can't wait. FUN.

In other news... I'm a total Orihime fangirl now. *heart*

First things first. He didn't mean it at all. He was panicked and scared and in pain and he lashed out because he wanted the pain to stop. My little Mr. Jones was in pain...

Earlier this afternoon, I let out Mr. Jones, the Jack Russel, and Hal and Darlin', our Greyhounds. Mr. Jones beelined for the fence 'cause the next door neighbor's dog was there. He snapped and growled and carried on like always, with Hal and Darlin' right behind him. I marched over and said sharply "Mr. Jones." He immediately shuts up and gives me a look like 'I'm sorry I exist...' So I pick him up gently. He's not biting or growling or snapping or anything...

And then...

Hal latches onto him!! He takes Mr. Jones's hindquarters or leg or side or something and starts trying to yank him out of my grip. Mr. Jones begins to bark and snarl, 'cause, duh, he's in pain. I yell 'Hal!' when Mr. Jones turns in my grip and bites at my face. I keep hold of him, but Hal gives a vicious yank on my poor baby, so I release him.

Mr. Jones heads straight for the house once he hits the ground, I cuss out Hal loudly before following and shutting the door. By this time, I'm noticing that blood is gushing from my face. I hold a hand up to my mouth, where the blood's coming from. I frantically try to get my phone, sobbing from panic or fear I don't know. But I'm angry at Hal for trying to hurt Mr. Jones and concerned 'cause I don't want my sweetie to be hurt...

I find my cell, but it's dead. So I head into the kitchen, but there's no phone charger. I notice blood on the floor, but I'm still in panic mode as I head upstairs to where my phone charger is. I plug it in and call my parents. I probably gave them a good scare 'cause I remember trying to explain to them what had happened and repeatedly telling them that it wasn't Mr. Jones's fault at all. They just tell me to calm down and say that they're gonna call my neighbors. I hang up and am about to leave when I see myself in the mirror. My shirt's covered in blood, and my mouth is covered in it too from me cupping my hand over it.

So I'm frantically searching around the house for Mr. Jones 'cause I'm more concerned for him than I am. I can't find him anywhere, which makes me panic and worry more. The phone rings at some point, where I pick it up and it's mom and dad. They ask me what had happened again, and I'm still pretty shaken up. The door bell rings and I thankfully hear Mr. Jones barking. He goes down the stairs to bark at the door and I see, with horror, that something is hanging off of his side that looks like body fat, and two gashes near his leg. ;-; So I open the door, and just see my neighbor's and her husband's face fall at looking at me. They motion for the garage and I nod, closing the front door and moving over.

So I go into garage, my neighbor gets the phone while her husband takes me over to their house. He gives me a towel for my mouth when my neighbor returns. She takes me to the emergency room where we meet my parents.

At this point I'm a lot calmer and I can't really feel any pain. My mom's a bit frantic, but that's 'cause of the phone call. Once she gets a look at me, she can see that there's this horrible gash on my upper lip, but that's all (thankfully). I tell them about Mr. Jones, how it's not his fault at all, and that he's hurt too. So Dad goes home where Andy's waiting and they take Mr. Jones to the vet.

He'll have to go to surgery to repair the damage done to his side and will need a drain for the two gashes on his leg. ;-; I can't believe Hal did that. I can't understand why. I mean, if Mr. Jones was biting and snapping at me as I picked him up, I can understand. But he was calm, he didn't even bark or growl at me when I picked him up, and yet... Oh man, I still tear up. I was so scared! I mean, it felt like Hal was trying to rip Mr. Jones out of my grip to, to, to eat him or something...

But, uhm, anyway, so I went into ER to get 12 stitches on my upper lip. It's huge right now, but I can't feel anything thanks to the Tylenol 3 and the novicane (??). I got a tetnis shot (I haven't had one since I was in middle school) and some antibiotics.

But there's some really great news out of all of this. Apparently, I'm still on my mom's insurance (by accident). So my last ER visit and this one are covered. It's a relief to hear that, but I can't be happy until I'm holding my Mr. Jones again.

But, uhm. Yeah. That was my afternoon.

Update: Mr. Jones has stitches too, and two drains. He's a lot better today than yesterday. ^.^ He ate, drank, went to the potty, and did normal doggie stuffs!! *huggles him tightly*

I deleted my Livejournal today, giving the reason:

Delete all journals that are in violation of your TOS, not just fanartists who draw fictional characters. I still see many journals that support self-harm, the most damaging one being pro_anorexia.

I refuse to support a company that decides to delete the journals of fans of a show under the guise of child protection and leaves open communities for children to either starve themselves or cut up their bodies for the sake of pleasure.

Fuck you.

I don't know why, but I'm emotional... while writing the summary of randomsome1's Strikethough '07 report on a friend's forum ( Found here, if anyone's curious. Just a warning: PINK ), I found myself tearing up.

I guess it's really hitting me now. Kids are hurting themselves, some not even older than my little, sometimes misunderstood, cousin, and Livejournal's doing nothing about it. With a simple keystroke, they can put an end to the largest pro-anorexic community on the web and possibly save many lives. But they won't, for the sake of money.

I really do hope they burn in hell now.

On a side note, the self-harm community I joined has a person who thinks it's her personal journal.

And another side note, finally got bored enough to properly customizing this page. Now it feels more like home... If only I can figure out how to make the side bar a solid color as opposed to half of Satoshi's arm and how to make my icon appear in each journal entry on the main page...

This plant, the Sago Palm is deadly to dogs and children.

So if you're out shopping 'n at for plants, please be careful. ;-; *specially you randomsome1 *

In other news... NOZING. Other than Avatar FUCKIN' ROCKS.

Alright. So 'bout two days ago, it was the usual busy afternoon. I had one cashier taking her lunch while the others were swarmed with customers. My chest had been hurting pretty badly for the past ten minutes and I was doing everything I could to breathe properly. But I ignored it entirely, mainly because the customers and my cashiers came first. They need me.

So I decide to help 'em out by taking a few people at the service desk. So I call out for anyone with ten or less items and make my way behind the all mighty service desk counter of doom. A lady who is a regular pops up and we smile and talk as I ring her out. Suddenly, I start feeling very light headed. I quickly grab the phone to page a manager, when my throat chokes up. I put the phone immediately as I begin to tear up. I turn away from the customer, apologizing profusely as I grip at the register and at a chair beside me. Apparently, I let out a sob just as she turns around to inform one of the cashiers to call a manager. I can hear my cashier's voice call for a manager over the intercom as one of my co-workers walks behind the desk.

I hold up the plastic bag I had been bagging and ask her to please ring out the customer. She shakes her head and tells me that I come first, to which the customer chimes up that it's fine, I should concentrate on myself. By this point, I'm a bit shaky, I really can't breathe, and I'm crying for no reason. I hear my co-worker call for my manager to get her butt up there ASAP. My manager's there along with my service desk back-up. They get one of the wheelchairs for our customers and wheel me back. On the short trip back, I force myself to calm down as I chat with my co-worker. The talking really helps me.

I go back to work after sitting for a minute and barely convincing my manager (who is worried sick at this point, since she was the manager the first time this happened) that I'm fine. I return to the front, where I'm asked if I'm fine and I reply yes I am.

My back-up looked at me and asked how are you kid? I reply fine with a smile even though I felt a bit shakey and my chest still hurt like hell. She told me that she's seen that type of an attack before and explains what I had suffered was a panic attack.

The second she said those two words it made perfect sense. The reason why the ER didn't come up with anything. The reason why I've always had chest pains with no real explination. Since she told me that, I've taken notice when my chest hurts. It's always up at service desk (even though I love it up there. The power! XD) or when I'm incredibly nervous.

She went on to explain that there's a small trigger, and it doesn't even have to be what's happening in the present time. But it'll trigger my attack. She told me how she suffered a panic attack; she listed everything that I was feeling perfectly.

So it's panic attacks. That's fine, I can handle that. Just gotta remember to keep myself calm a lot, y'know? In other news, I'm buying stuff for the haunted house that we'll have this Halloween. Tessa's gonna help out too! ^.^

So my sister finally got around to getting a GJ here. helio106. XD Please terrorize her as you see fit.

In other news, I'm sick of Satoshi's beautiful face being covered up by this huge grey block of ick. randomsome1 I think you made a post somewhere about converting some LJ formats over to GJ. ;-; I want my Satoshi visible again...

And, uhm... I'M TOTALLY WRITING smut. >.

Alright. So yesterday I kind of worried myself. I normally have sharp pains in my lower abdomen, just around the right area of my pelvis. And I usually have a bit of a dull aching pain around either my sternum or the left side of my chest. On an average day, I ignore these pains about two or three times. Some days will go by with no pain at all. Others will have me kinda gritting my teeth. Overall, since I have no health insurance, I simply assume that they are just signs of my body being weird and aching just to ache.

Last night was a normal kind of pain. But it was a bit longer than usual and a bit more intense. My mind was kind of on automatic mode as I helped my co-worker bagging. But then a split-second later I found myself turning around and going up to my manager and telling her "something's wrong" with tears in my eyes. I still don't know why I did that. It felt automatic if anything. I didn't even think "should I tell my manager?" or "bah, it's the same old pain". I just did it, and that kinda scares me...

So the next thing I know I'm sitting down, staring at the floor as the pain slowly begins to go away. I'm feeling slightly light headed and I remember my manager asking if she should call my parents. I pause and, again without thinking, reply yes.

Parents arrive, I tear up again telling my mom what's wrong. She gives Dad a look and with horror I realize that they're gonna take me to the ER. I remind them that I have no insurance but she tells me that I'll simply use medical assistance. I'll have to pay the hosptial about five bucks a month for the rest of my life. To which just adds so much joy in my life.

Fall hasn't even started yet and I'm already scared for my arm.

So we go to the ER, I'm signed in, and there I am. In a hosptial gown without my shirt and bra. A super nice charge nurse lady is looking at my arm and commenting about the scars. I just laugh a little and she's surprised when I comment that I had started about two years ago. She kinda goes off into a rant about how life isn't worth it, but for some reason, I'm not offended or anything. She really amused me above all else. So she sticks my arm, ready to put a de... decath... a something-or-another which will let them pump me full of stuffs. But she can't find a vein. Apparently, my veins are very small and very deep. So I have about two small holes in my left arm and three holes in my right. Fun!

The doctor comes in after about an hour and a half. He's a really fast talker and confuses me several times. At one point, they make the bed lay flat and he has to unzip my jeans to do this. T__T I wasn't happy about that in the least. Regardless, they checked me out and decide to send me to do a CT scan and get an x-ray.

The CT scan turned out negative and the x-ray (while I have no clue why they did that) also came up with nothing. So they think that perhaps it has to deal with my female organs. But around this time it's about 1 am and there isn't anyone to do that kind of scan/check-up/whatev. So he tells me to go visit my family doctor and that I'm able to go home.

Uh, yeah. Don't think I'll be going to the family doc since I have no insurance. Fun times.

But Mom and the funny charge nurse kept telling me that I shouldn't be worried about the ER visit, that going in for pain is much better than just ignoring it. I can't justify that statement, no matter how hard I try. So, of course, my mental health is all out of sorts now. At least my physical health is good. I've always harbored a fear that if I ever got checked out, they'd find something up with my heart. This isn't the case. Yey.

So yeah. And I've still kinda not started the novel at all. *sighs* At least I wrote a 20-page short story the other day? And I saw the opening for Avatar's season 3. Fuuuun.